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These cookies do not store any personal information.Winning might not be guaranteed in a casino, but that’s exactly what makes you come back.“When I was young, people called me a gambler. Quotes . And casinos made twenty-seven billion just by being around those people. Gambling Sayings and Quotes. I’m addicted to sitting in a semi-circle.” – Mitch Hedberg“Gambling is the future on the internet. Lost by a neck. I should add that I’m not much of a gambler; the biggest wagers I seem to make are playing 2p machines at seaside resorts, so I am far from an expert in the topic. The Best Gambling Jokes and Funny Gambling Quotes Top 10 Gambling Jokes and Funny Gambling Quotes assembled by NoLuckNeeded.com. ""In the case of an earthquake hitting Las Vegas, be sure to go straight to the Keno Lounge. Authors; Topics; Movie Quotes; … You can cry after a bad beat online and no one will laugh at you.The bartender said, “There’s no such thing! This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. It’s getting money without giving an equivalent for it.” – Henry Ward Beecher“There is a very easy way to return from a casino with a small fortune: go there with a large one.” – Jack Yelton“Gambling is an act of faith of gamblers.
But I have been doing the same thing all the time.” – Sir Ernest Cassel“All the evidence shows that God was actually quite a gambler, and the universe is a great casino, where dice are thrown, and roulette wheels spin on every occasion.” – Stephen Hawking“The urge to gamble is so universal and its practice so pleasurable that I assume it must be evil.” ― Heywood Hale Broun“Poker is a hard way to make an easy living.” – Doyle Brunson“If there weren’t luck involved, I would win every time.” – Phil Hellmuth“Luck, bad if not good, will always be with us. 82 of the Funniest Quotes About Gambling.
Some will make you laugh while others might help you develop a successful betting strategy. He hit the bar, the bartender, himself, but not a drop made it into the whisky bottle.The guy pulled out a huge wad of notes and set them on the bar. Check out our collection of funny gambling jokes. Quotes tagged as "gambling" Showing 1-30 of 152 “You never know beforehand what people are capable of, you have to wait, give it time, it's time that rules, time is our gambling partner on the other side of the table and it holds all the cards of the deck in its hand, we have to guess the winning cards of life, our lives.” ― José Saramago, Blindness. ""Someone once asked me why women don't gamble as much as men do and I gave the commonsensical reply that we don't have as much money. Then we have some of the top poker quotes, again including our own comments. I like a gambol.Check our Twitter and Facebook feeds for a joke on the hour every hour… 1) I just bet £100 at the bookies that they would find Maddie, at 1000-1 odds. ""You know horses are smarter than people. “Aw, you screwed me,” said the bartender, and paid the guy his $50.“I’m a professional gambler,” replied the man.“I’ll give you another chance. Laughing, the bartender said, “Hey pal, you owe me five hundred dollars!”“Where the fuck have you been?” screamed my wife.The bartender thought about it. "Gambling with cards or dice or stocks is all one thing. Nothing ever gets hit there.
Drunk as a skunk, he said, “Bartender, I’ll give you one last chance. A little money helps, but what really gets it right is never facing the facts.” – Ruth Gordon“In the casino, the cardinal rule is to keep them playing and to keep them coming back. I'm not addicted to gambling, I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle. ""Casinos and prostitutes have the same thing in common; they are both trying to screw you out of your money and send you home with a smile on you face. I’ll bet you five hundred dollars that I can stand on this bar on one foot and piss into that whisky bottle on that shelf behind you without spilling a drop.”5) What’s the difference between prayer in church and prayer in a casino? Several studies discovered that losing money after visiting a casino doesn’t make the overall experience less enjoyable.
It was nowhere near.I’m going to an Abba themed poker night.