Ask yourself what they’re inviting you to do.We’re more likely to work through it when we get confused, frustrated, or irritated, rather than giving up.As we learned, stress, irritation, and discomfort motivate us to make changes. If external factors are affecting your relationship, then it's more than likely that you and your partner are just experiencing a rough patch, according to Emily Mendez, MS EdS, a mental health expert and psychotherapist. “It starts with yourself,” she says. When it seems like your relationship is on the rocks, it can help to simply reaffirm one another’s desire to make it work. We easily say, "Thank you" to a passer-by that opens a door for us, to a shop assistant, or to a stranger on the road. At some point, months or years in, you’re going to hit a rough patch. “People have all sorts of stumbling blocks, including self-protection,” de Marneffe explains. Time is on your side. We want to get rid of anything that makes us uncomfortable.Yet Dr. Biswas-Diener believes that it’s our relationship with discomfort that determines how happy our lives are overall.How can you make sure the bad times help your relationship grow rather than bring it down?Pain invites us to stop and reassess the situation.So don’t worry about those ups and downs, as long as you’re up 80% of the time.
Rough patches are a normal part of relationships. What Ifs Don’t go down the “what if” road too much. Keep being you.Anger can motivate you to fight back against injustice.So how can you balance the good times with the bad times in your relationship?When we can sit with discomfort, and not run from it, we have a greater ability to stick with our goals and commit to our relationships.We’re less likely to avoid issues, bury our head in the sand, or distract ourselves with mindless scrolling or screen time.His research on happiness, empathy, and courage has taken him all around the world.Surely, if this were the right relationship, with the right person, we’d feel happy all the time!We don’t have to be afraid of those negative feelings. Going through a rough patch in a relationship is especially challenging when you’re not sure what to do. And yet we often believe that if only life were easier—if only we had more money, or more vacation time, or a more luxurious home—we’d be happier. “Be generous with your apologies,” de Marneffe says. Before you start tackling things as a couple, you need to be honest with yourself. Psychologist Daphne de Marneffe has written a guide to weathering what, for many couples, is the hardest part of a long-term relationship. These thoughts can put in perspective your tendency to take each other for granted, and actually help you appreciate each other more. For some of us, life has to get pretty bad before we’ll do anything about something that’s been bothering us.Pleasure invites us to stop and savor the moment.What he’s discovered is that having a comfortable, easy life where nothing bad happens does NOT make us happy.When you’re choosing the right man to spend your life with, make sure he’s comfortable with getting uncomfortable.
It’s a totally normal part of any relationship—and it’s part of the reason people emphasize that relationships take work.7 Things You Need to Do If You Don’t Want to Get DivorcedHow to Avoid the 7 Most Common Newlywed MistakesAre Your Old Relationships Affecting Your Current One?The First Year of Marriage Is Tough, No Matter How You Spin It6 Benefits You Can Expect from Online Couples TherapyHow to Deal With Toxic Family Members Before or During Your WeddingEugenio Marongiu / Getty Images So how do you do it? It’s not about being perfect. They won’t harm your relationship as long as you use them for positive action. HOW TO GET THROUGH ROUGH PATCHES IN UR RELATIONSHIP :) - Duration: 10:37.